CAN "I" DO ANYTHING?
We've been talking about a distinction between "to be conscious" and "being consciousness". Perhaps you would agree that the meanings behind the words: being, self, entity, and I, can be distinguished and evidenced in another perspective adjustment: "Yes, there is only one being, unmoved, not-active, and any action around it is merely "the 'I' or action of observing that."
The subtle difference between "being one with something" versus simply "being one" is for me a new and alternate definition of both the word being and the word one. It is those alternate definitions that occupy my sphere of existence. What is beyond that sphere is "being the only one" and that statement, on its face, does not compute in the human brain or the mind, but does so in consciousness.
"I's" illusion that: "I" am doing something is a thought or mind action. But is "I am being some-thing" or "I am being," only an action of mind? Perhaps what is missing here is the "feeling-observation" of merely "being." The "ing" in be-ing is a convention for "action of," like the action: go-ing. To "be" (the word alone), indicates non-action, entity alone, perhaps the consciousness or awareness of "Oneness."
Although long after Millbrook, I am able to put my worst thoughts into words: "Everything is 'one' thing and 'I' am it," that thinking no longer triggers reaction (panic) and therefore neither the panic: "stop, don't think that thought." So, it would seem that it is not the stopping of thought, as much as stopping a process, a process that was trying to "bodily" break through the illusory "I" position of "thinking."
In other words: "Everything is 'one' thing" is the reality, the process, but adding "the 'I' am it" stops the process. How to break through, even what a breakthrough might look like remains unrealized today. What made any of the periods of panic and fear (perhaps hundreds) tolerable was when the "grace" of bliss unexpectedly and unconditionally arrived (washed over the body-mind) as evidence of a process .
Paradoxically, as time went on, "simple joy" developed as the intervals between fear and ecstasy became longer. Perhaps "peace" is another descriptor of my feeling. The "grace of ecstasy," apparently undeserved and unconditional, produced a body-mind equanimity. As if being continually instructed, I learned over the following 17 years that "grace" is the secret of how to live out my "reality-shift."
That instruction included the thought that what is "the I," is thought. Other than to willfully "stop short" a thought, there is no sustainable control of thought. Try it! It is not as easy as you might think to stop thinking or to control discursive thought. Except for the passage of time and the discovery of mantra (purposely repeated thought) thought cannot be otherwise short-circuited.
So what do you do with "The elephant in the room?" To somehow short-circuit a thought may be the closest we get to transcendence of "the I" or action of mind called thought . Using mantra and nama japa (the repetition of a name) to short-circuit unwanted thought is an ancient method for defeating duality within duality; a method apparently more effective in coordination with "bodily action."
Action such as: fingering the beads of a mala or rosary, and especially attending to the breath, chanting, kirtan, full-body prostrations, circumambulation, pilgrim treks, and Satsang, etc., all short-circuit thought. Since first taught, millennia ago, all these proved an effective method of bringing equanimity to body and mind. Such ritualizing of "action" is a way of life for many. It has worked for me for many years now.
Next Appendix (#5)